


going nowhere fast

by emilyarasgain



Category: Good Girls (TV)
Genre: After the dubby shit, Beth is so done with Dean being Dean, Character Study, F/M, I don't know, and Rio being an enigma, because damn I would be angry, it was just a reaction i had seeing it, maybe sex later? idek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-23 13:37:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18550861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilyarasgain/pseuds/emilyarasgain
Summary: The Beth Boland of the past was dead. She wasn’t a housewife anymore. She was a business woman. Powerful. Independent. Smart.She also was a crime boss, apparently. And those two didn’t necessarily match. It didn’t matter how confident and badass she felt; this is still a world of men.Men that think they own everything.So she will have to suck it up and learn. How to deal with it. How to assert herself in a world run by men that don’t accepted a woman as equal, let alone as a superior.But that is her life now. No going back.or the one that Beth is tired of being a pawn, she wants to be a queen





	going nowhere fast

**Author's Note:**

> I shouldn't let this two run my life like this. But oh well.  
> I don't know if I should mark this as complete or not. Time will tell.  
> This is the result of me being pissed off by all these mixed signals if I were Beth.  
> Also I hate Dean. I want him to die.  
> In the beginning was just a confrontation, but then the parentheses started and kind of took over, so character study?  
> I don't understand why Beth married Dean, man. So I invented some shit.

 

Elizabeth Marie Boland has had a fucking day. Hell, she had a fucking week. She was so angry that after years of not living her own life, she finally had a chance to get it together. But then there were always things going wrong. She was almost on her forties for fuck’s sake and she couldn’t control her damn life. It felt so unstable. Outside factors that she, a perfectionist, thank you very much, couldn’t control.  

The minute she grabbed her little girl, hugging away all the fear she’d felt; she made a promise. To hell with everything that was getting her crazy. She was a new woman.

The Beth Boland of the past was dead. She wasn’t a housewife anymore. She was a business woman. Powerful. Independent. Smart.

She also was a crime boss, apparently. And those two didn’t necessarily match. It didn’t matter how confident and badass she felt; this is still a world of men.

Men that think they own everything.

So she will have to suck it up and learn. How to deal with it. How to assert herself in a world run by men that don’t accepted a woman as equal, let alone as a superior.

But that is her life now. No going back.

Sure, the beginning had been weird. It was hard to reconcile everything in her old life with the new one. Leaving _post-its_ on her kids and founding she was missing everything had broken her heart.

But either way, she was in transition. As difficult as it was to admit it, she didn’t know a lot about the new life she had gotten herself into. Like going crazy and talking shit to armed men. Leaving pieces of her normal life for people to see. For the wrong people to see.  

Rio was right.

Shit.

Rio.

He was a big part of the problem, wasn’t he? Best fuck of her life and she was gone. Probably gone even before. The tension had been there for months and she thought a lot about that little moment before it happened. Constantly.

(Now you can imagine how often she thinks about it _after_ it happened and it’s not just her imagination anymore).

But yes. She, Elizabeth Marie _Boland_ , had felt in lust with Rio she-doesn’t-even-know-his-last-fucking-name at first sight.

All the way back when all he did was call her out and point guns at her. Call her a bitch to her face (and God knows how wet she was afterwards). Beth thought she had a problem, but the danger that came with him turned her on a lot. Dean having fake cancer brought an pause on that.

(Not that much of a pause. It did slow down her actions about it, was all).

After she realized she had thrown twenty years of her life away for an idiot, she headed to the bar. _With said idiot._

He saw her. They locked eyes and fucked in the bathroom.

(And damn it she didn’t went back, critiqued the service, convince Dean to go home and sat down beside him, cum drying against her inner thighs, mind still fogged after the most amazing whatever minutes in her life.)

After that, well. There was no turning back. At least for her. But, of fucking course, Rio couldn’t be predictable even for one day in his life. Every time Beth thought she was getting a good read of him, well, he flipped his game.

He asked her to tell the FBI they fucked (and make him look good, oh God). They worked together. He tricked her. She threw keys at his face. He told her to go home. She had him arrested. He shot Dean. He got out of her life. He flipped his game and got back. He gave her everything. He took it back. He gave her money. He took it back. He fucked her. He flipped his game. They became partners. He flirted with her. He flipped his game. He had someone else. She flipped her game. He threatened her. Flirted with her again. Flipped his game. Over and over.

She was tired.

So, she did the same.

All she wanted was to be equal.

She got the reins to her own life and decided to own it. Left Dean with her old job and got his. And more.

It felt good finally returning Rio’s condescending words to him. They were fifty-fifty now. But it was in her frustration of seeing him with another (she was not jealous, God, she just didn’t condone with cheating), that made Dean’s one day of cleanliness the sexiest thing he had done in the last 20 years.

In that moment, all she wanted was to send a big _‘fuck you’_ to Rio, so she said to her piece of shit of a husband to get naked.

_Take off your pants._

Beth couldn’t look at him, she just looking forward and thought of another. It was a first for her (that didn’t mean that she hadn’t think of anything else during boring sex with Dean; sometimes she planned her week, even). Probably happened a lot to Dean, so she decided that it was a good karma for him.

She hadn’t come (and wasn’t that normal for her? Sex with Rio was the anomaly). Well, not then.  

But after they were done, she felt more than just unsatisfied sexually. Even more than in the last years of their marriage.

Something was missing.

It left her frustrated. Like everything else involving Rio right now.

Then when Dean called her Elizabeth, she looked up. It felt wrong coming from his lips. To him, she was always _Bethie._ It nauseated her now.

She’s no _Bethie._

And Dean doesn’t deserve her. Not as _Bethie_ and especially not as Elizabeth.

Package in hands, her given name and now favorite moniker sloppily written on it. She took a breath and opened it.

She was equally surprised and not when she saw Jane’s dubby in there. Her heart knew what it meant, and it was almost expecting it, that little pathetic part of her that saw more than a bathroom quickie. His looks. His words, his pauses. His actions over the last, _was it almost a year?_

The other, and bigger, part of her (the same that called him an idiot and threw the keys in his face) thought: _what the fuck?_

_How dare he?_

That was probably the reason that had her woken up at 2:30 in the morning, frustrated, confused and angry as hell. That was probably why she threw a coat over her camisole, put on some yoga pants and grabbed her keys.

(Never mind that she used her sexiest underwear and camisole to sleep that night. She’s not discussing this, dammit. It was totally unplanned. A coincidence. _Shut up weird voice in her head the sounds suspiciously like Annie’s_ ).

If anyone saw her leaving her home, they would say she looked like a lunatic, driving at high speed in the middle of the night like a woman on a fucking mission.

She thought she must have passed out or something, because it’s one second later and she’s in front of the fucking bar (that one, yes). She didn’t even bother to fire him a text, Elizabeth just knew he was there.

Closing her car door in fury, she marched on like a fiend and stopped in front of the bar door, ignored the close sign and went in.

There he was. Same spot.

But this time the place was closed. Just the two of them there. She didn’t know why a bar was closed at that time.

Or maybe she did.

He looked at her, face neutral.

“What the fuck, Rio.” She told him; eyes fixed on his. He looked at her for what it felt like a minute and got up, glass of bourbon on his hands.

Beth hated that he knew she’d come.

(Another part of her got so hot. How come this guy she only knew for a year, and that spent a good part of this year threatening her, could anticipate her needs better than the man she was married to?).

A few steps closer and she stopped just in front of him, her hand on the bar counter.

“You can have that drink with me now, Elizabeth. I can always ask for the rosé you keep going back to.”

That hurt a bit. She remembered Dean and that awful dinner where she realized that her whole life, she had let him undermine her, that she only cogitated leaving him after an affair (the one she found out about) and the debt. But if she had opened her eyes just a little bit, she should have never married him at all.

(The affair was minimal. She had spent all her youth at home living for him, being bored to death without working, babysitting her sister. The only thing Dean needed her for was to bring at work parties, for him to feel superior to his college mates and then business partners. _Look at my wife, she waits for me at home with dinner ready and on her knees._ She heard him say that one time. She had just discovered that she was pregnant. She cried on Ruby’s lap and then pretended she never heard that. He was the father of her child).

(And now she thinks that was the day she chose to become her mother instead of the female role models she grew up admiring).

Dean was always the same. All the time she had an idea, he would complement her cooking. Her cleaning. Her taking care of the kids.

Every time she would sit with him in a restaurant for a date, he would order for her. Things she didn’t quite like, she just ate because he did. He would ask for a light drink for her, when in truth she could drink him under the table.

(Because she was bored to death, so she would drink a bottle of bourbon and touch her self on the bath, thinking about freedom. She would do things he hated to reassure herself she wasn’t her mother).

In fact, she was tired of people thinking she was rosé when she was bourbon on the rocks, or neat even. Tired of Dean thinking she was cute lunches and a bakery when she was innovated ideas, numbers and business. When she could be PTA and crime on the same day. When she spent all her life quiet and submissive on every one’s eyes, but she really was all about challenging and dominance. That she was missionary and migraine excuses, when she really wanted was to be bend over a bathroom sink and pushed against a wall.

When Dean talked about and for her, but he didn’t have anything to say that represented _her_.

“I hate rosé.”

“Yeah, ma, so you keep tellin’ me. And keep drinking it though.”

“Why?”

“Why what, sweetheart?”

That’s the question. She’s so tired, like she said to him that night in front of her house. He promised to teach her, but she thought she could get away. But truth was she didn’t want to. She liked feeling powerful, she liked being a boss bitch. And fuck it she didn’t like him.

(Like him. Want him. Only him, all the time).

“Why can’t you just tell me things, say it, no bullshit. Why you keep me in the dark and then decides I have to know everything and when I think I got it, you just keep flipping it. I can’t keep up, so I mess up or I just chose what’s good for me.”

“If you wanna be the boss, you gotta choose for yourself, darling.”

“And I am, so much that you manipulate me to see what I’m gonna do next. You need me now and I’m as much a boss as you. But you broke your promise.”

Now she had his attention. He looked feral.

“I don’t break promises, Elizabeth.”

“You haven’t taught me anything. And you pointed a gun at me again. Not that it bothered me at all, because God help me, but I know that you won’t pull the trigger.”

“I’ve been teaching you some shit.”

“Thought you would be more… _Hands on_. With your training.” She said, getting closer, her hand moving to the glass of bourbon he was gripping, closing her eyes when she touched him, electricity going through her body.

She opened her eyes, looking at him through her lashes, and grabbed the glass, downing all the bourbon at once and licking her lips.

His eyes were glued to her, burning.

“I ain’t fucking married ladies no more.”

“You wanna know everything, huh? You frustrate me.”

He laughed then.

“I thought I knew frustration, ma, and then I met you.”

“That night, right here. I had been wanting that for a long time. Things with Dean were over before I met you. He slept with his child secretary, and other women that I’ve just recently found out.”

“Huh, I said car man was stupid.”

“He blamed me. Said I was cold with him. Frigid. That I didn’t love him enough, so he had to find consolation on other women’s arms. First, I was so mad at him, but then I realized I didn’t care enough. I had stopped caring for him a long time ago. Maybe I never did. I was depressed after my last two pregnancies. Really depressed after Emma. I couldn’t bare look at him.”

(Actually, she had been depressed through the whole marriage. The last thing she had felt like herself was the night of Ruby’s marriage. She had broken up with Dean the week before. She drank her weight on champagne and fucked two of groomsmen and woken up naked in bed with her old catholic school roommate. Had gotten confused, was slut-shamed by her mother and a month later, when Dean came back from his state college with love letters and promises, she took it, so she could live without her mother’s rants and her father’s screams).

Rio’s jaw was tense, and she knew for certain he wanted to kill Dean. She realized that she didn’t have enough care in her to really stop him.

But that wasn’t her goal now.

“You know, a lot of people when they realized they’ve been distant with their loved ones, they wanna fight. Of course, cheating can’t be excused, but I wasn’t even mad at that for the betrayal. He could’ve gotten to me and said he wanted more affection before he went to have his first affair, but I thought a lot about this and I’m almost certain that if he requested more attention, I wouldn’t give it to him.”

“Why you still married then?”

“He was living at a motel and then you started circling me, I would leave the kids with him. And then you two met. Kenny’s birthday, remember? He made a speech and told me he was dying. Cancer.”

“Idiot.”

“He was sleeping in Kenny’s room. All this time, circumstances made me stay with him. But he never slept in my bed again.”

That caught his attention.

“Yeah?”

“And then you fired me and I thought that was the end. When he said _let’s try and have dinner, it’s our anniversary_ , I said fine. And then he crashed his car and the doctor didn’t know about his cancer, because there was none. I should’ve known. After, I saw it all over the browser history on the computer in Kenny’s bedroom. He also moved the Botox for me, with the help of his sketchy doctor. Apparently, he gave a car for him. Another idiot decision leaving us in more debt.”

Rio was looking at her, waiting.

“You shot him because of me and when he didn’t die, I realized there’s no way I’m divorcing him _now._ It was my fault.”

“No. It ain’t your fault.” He was mad now. “He was talking some shit.”

“What?”

For the first time since she had met him, he looked like he lost control a little bit. He wasn’t meant to tell her that.

“Shit, Elizabeth- I was gonna kill him, yeah? But you got home. Heard the car and realized I should be pissed at you, not defending your honor and whatnot. Bitch had me in fucking prison, I shouldn’t care if he was calling you shit. But then you didn’t point the gun at me with him screaming at you. Got me hot.”

Shit. She was in deep because she felt it was hot too. After she remembered him, so close to her. He was looking at her and he shot Dean barely looking. Close as he was now.

“Kids were afraid to lose him. I was feeling guilty so back he was. Didn’t even mentioned the cancer. Things got better, until we were back in with you and Boomer, everything. When we started with the dealership, I trusted him. But he’s useless, he is made of excuses, as Annie always said. I saw a way out, brought him to a great restaurant. He interrupted me. _Every. Fucking. Time._ Calling for food. Not even looking at me.”

“He ain’t deserving of you, Elizabeth.”

“He asked-“. Now she was laughing. “He asked me if I wanted a bottle of chardonnay. He said to me that he wouldn’t tell me how to run the house, even though he didn’t sell ONE car that day, _I did_. So I called for a bourbon on the rocks and I brought him here.”

“Elizabeth, I won’t be a way for you to get back at your idiot husband.”

“You’re not, Rio. But I won’t be a piece on your board for you to move as you like. _I’m not a pawn_. I won’t do to another woman what Dean did to me. I won’t be a mistress.”

He looked confused.

“What the hell you talkin’ about, red?”

“You fucked me, on this bar. And then you paraded yourself in front of Dean just for kicks. Than you made me make a fool of myself on business. You threatened me with evidences of a murder I didn’t even commit. You met with your pretty girlfriend.”

“I ain’t got no girlfriend.”

“You sure seemed chummy with this pretty girl on the car lot.”

“You stalked me? Got jealous, ma?” He looked amused. “She ain’t my girlfriend, red. She’s a friend, grew up with me and my sister, who she happens to be dating now, so I sure ain’t fucking her.”

Now she felt foolish.

“And you say I’m bad at communicating.”

“You are! Because you ooze sexual tension with all these women and then you undermine me, don’t tell me things and try and run my life. You flirt with me after pulling a gun on me.”

“Elizabeth-“.

“You made me think that night meant nothing to you. That I was just another woman to fell for your charms. You and that girl, the image burned in my head. I wanted to hurt you. Dean was there, he had been struggling with being the stay at home parent. You got me so frustrated that when I went home that day and it was not a mess, I decided to let him fuck me.”

For a second, Rio’s eyes sparked up with anger and she took her time to appreciate that. How he cared. He was just as much jealous of her as she was of him. She also could read him a lot better now.

“I told him to take off his pants and he came at me, I just looked forward. No kiss, no nothing, because even though he’s my husband and you had a girlfriend, I couldn’t. It almost felt like cheating. I bared myself and I just can’t fool my body anymore. All I could think about was you.”

Rio was still guarded after she told him she had slept with Dean. But he seemed more curious now.

“I went to my bedroom and I turned the shower on hottest I could and just scrubbed my body raw and went to bed crying. And then Dean started lashing out, my kids were missing me, and I was just working and working. And I was so angry at you. Why? Why you are all I can think about, Rio? Why did you lecture me on doing stupid things and show you don’t care and then you drop my daughter’s dubby at my house? You went back there, for me, why?”

“I’m sure you know at this point, sweetheart, you ain’t stupid and I ain’t hiding no more, yeah? You think I would trust any other bitch that got me arrested to come up with ideas in how to flip my game?”

“I don’t know. I think I do and you prove me wrong. I’m really tired.”

“I’m not a magnanimous king, Elizabeth. It’s my way or highway, and that means you’re dead. Never I had some suburban bitch call me stupid. No one. No one that survived to tell the tale, especially to challenge me again. Over and over. All that time I wanted just to shut you up and fuck the disobedience out of you. You throw them keys at my face and all I wanted was to teach you a lesson.”

Shit. They were so close she could feel the heat of his body and the anger coming from him. Along with frustration and want. Lust.

“You left me alone on the bar but came back looking at me. I can’t stop thinking about that night, Elizabeth. It’s the sexiest thing that ever happened to me and I’m no saint. I’ve been with my fair share of sexy women. But I never stopped thinking about anything else other than one quick fuck in the bathroom.”

“Me too, I-“.

“I can’t fuck anyone else either. Tried. Tried to find myself a sexy blonde with curves for days, because apparently that’s my type now. It wasn’t half as satisfying as just reliving that moment with you in the middle of the night.

“I- I touched myself just thinking about you breaking stuff at my place, shit. I’m going crazy, I can only think of you. Over and over.” The words came at their own will and left her lips without permission.

He arched his brow and got closer, whispering in her ear.

“Elizabeth, I’mma kiss you now. If you want to stop, just-“.

Her hands went for his neck and she pushed him to herself. Their lips met and his hands went for her hair. He pressed her against the counter with his hips and she could feel him hard against her. She moaned in their kiss and he invaded her mouth, punishing and she felt dizzy.

(She didn’t even notice until later, when she was in his arms, in his bed, that it was their first kiss).

Rio stepped away for a minute.

“No more cryptic shit then. I want you, Elizabeth. Just you. If you want this, say so and then we go from here. But no more glasses of rosé. I don’t want to think about him touching you, if we do this, you’re mine, yeah?”

Oh God. Yes. She wanted to scream yes, she wanted to be him.

She said this, instead. “I have a rule.”

He grinned at her, licking his lips and touching hers.

“You are going to teach me.”

“I know car man wasn’t good to you, but you seemed to hold your own pretty well last time.”

She rolled her eyes.

“I want you to listen to me, treat me equally. Not as a pawn, as a queen. I want you to teach me to hold my own, so I’m never intimidated by a man again. I want to know how to shoot. I want a gun, for protection, even knowing you’ll always be there for me.”

Apparently, her heart had been right all along.

“I ain’t letting man fuck with you, darling. The last one that tried is already telling the next ones what gonna happen if they do.”

“I want to be yours.”

“Shit. I was telling the truth then, Elizabeth. You go to jail or you die, and I ain’t letting any of those happen to you. I want to be there for you, but I want to know you’re safe when I’m not.”

“I want to know this is it, Rio. We’re not just fucking.”

“We not, alright? I want you to get a divorce, Elizabeth. I want you to get him out of your house.”

“I will. I want you to fuck me in my bed. I want to build better memories there.”

“It will be my pleasure, sweetheart.”

“But not right now.”

“No.”

“It’d be stupid of us to not use all this space while we’re alone here. The very place you touched me for the first time.”

“I’d been hard the moment I saw you step in, Elizabeth. I knew why you came here. When you went to the bathroom, I knew that was it. No return.”

“I know.”

“Last chance to back out.”

“Not a chance.”

“C’mon. You wanna get on with a gangbanger?”

“Shut up.”

“Ain’t you a good girl?”

“I’ll be a very good girl for you” she said, dropping to her knees, king worshiping.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you like it. I hate the ending, but I'm lazy.  
> (Might be continuing this, too, so I've been thinking about the title as part of a sonet or something).  
> See ya maybe -xx


End file.
